How To Release Shame and Love Who God Made You
If you are anything like me, you’re no stranger to feeling shame or knowing how to release it.
You know who God says you are, yet this nagging feeling that something is inherently wrong with you is still there.
The problem is, that feeling eventually becomes a belief that keeps a toxic cycle of shame alive and well in your life.
And if you were ever part of an unhealthy church, self-loathing was a learned behavior.
Unfortunately, much of the church has no shortage of people who believe they have a license to shame those they dislike or disagree with.
And they are just waiting to correct you for not fitting into their idea of how you should look or behave.
Or maybe that shame you feel came from a family member who didn’t fully love themselves, so they took it out on you.
Whatever your story is, let’s look at how to release shame so you can finally feel free and love who God made you.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would freely give a close friend or loved one. You have inherent value and worth in God’s eyes. The Father has lavished his love on you as a child of God. (1 John 3:1)
Challenge thoughts that don’t align with your identity in Christ: Replace self-critical thoughts with Biblical affirmations. You are God’s temple, and His spirit loves to dwell in your midst. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
Focus on Your Strengths: Celebrate and acknowledge your unique gifts, talents, and qualities. God made only one of you, and no one else can be YOU as well as YOU. God knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb and set you apart. (Jeremiah 1:5)
Practice Being Self-Aware: Stay in the present moment and stop judging yourself to reduce self-criticism. Because you are beautifully and wonderfully made, you can rest in the truth that God didn’t leave you out. (Psalm 139:14) Having an identity connected to shame has attempted to hijack the truth of who God made you.
Surround Yourself With Positive Influences: Engage with people who support and encourage you. Avoid toxic connections and feed your spirit with truth that nourishes your soul. You don’t have to try to fit in with people who don’t share your same interests and convictions. Because you are God’s chosen and a member of His household. (Ephesians 2:19)
Make Healthy Boundaries: It’s time you made yourself a priority. Learning to say no without explaining yourself is a powerful way to release shame and declare you are worthy of healthy boundaries. Remember the wisdom from (Proverbs 25:28 ESV) “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Making boundaries is practicing self-control.
Forgive Yourself: When you are learning how to release shame, letting go of past mistakes will take you further than you ever thought possible. Perfectionism is a lie that fosters a feeling of inadequacy and unhealthy striving. Embrace your strengths and love yourself even when you mess up. We all fall short, and our imperfection makes God’s grace that much sweeter. (Romans 3:23)
Practice Self-Care: Be intentional when nourishing your mind, body, and spirit. You cannot pour from an empty cup or love others beyond how much you’re willing to love yourself. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you. God purchased you with a price because of the value He sees in you. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Nurture Gratitude: Celebrate the things you love and appreciate about yourself. Focus on the unique beauty God has given you that comes from within. No one can bring to the table what you have and in the way that you do. You are a miracle, and He knows the world needs the things you carry. You are God’s handiwork created in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:10)
Remember that self-love is a journey.
It’s okay to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
When learning how to release shame, be patient, it doesn’t happen overnight.
You are loved, blessed, and highly favored.
You are NOT your behavior.
You ARE who God says you are.
And He calls you the apple of His eye!
